Parenting - A Journey into Your Soul

Posted on July 12, 2010 12:00:00am, by Gerrianne Clare

There is nothing like parenting to make you look at yourself and see how you want to be a better person. 

 At least that is what happened for me along my road of parenting my three children. Over the next while in my blogs I am going to share some of my journey into parenting – the joys, the sorrows, the triumphs and the defeats. I write this with the hope that you will find some solace in knowing you are not alone in your thoughts, fears and anxieties about parenting “the right way”. 

FYI in my humble opinion – there is no RIGHT WAY or wrong way of parenting there is only YOUR WAY.
 
To begin, the biggest gift that parenting has given me is humbleness. Nothing like getting angry and frustrated with my kids to make me realize that all of those parents I judged in the past for yelling at their kids at the mall had really jus

When I was young and newly married, the thought of having children was a romantic beautiful addition to my idyllic life. As my husband and I learned the nuances of married life, the thought of having children grew as we paid off debt, finished post secondary school and started off in our careers. We planned everything all out and I was lucky to become pregnant quite quickly. We were so excited. An addition to our family was a testament to our love as well as an opportunity to influence the life of our child.

 
When our son arrived, I was in awe, so much in love and so excited about what lay ahead. Lack of sleep, all the crying, lack of knowledge and the newness of the experience did not diminish the love I felt for this lovely little being.
 
Fast forward to 18 months, the honeymoon was over. I was still madly in love with my little guy yet the reality of day to day life was getting the better of me. I was pregnant with our second child, exhausted and frustrated that my husband was busy in his career and challenged by the busy toddler that was consuming my every moment. One day, my son was getting testy with me, saying NO, exerting his independence and I lost it. I spanked him and yelled at him. I did not spank him out of a sense of discipline, I spanked him out of sheer frustration and anger. 
 
I was devastated, how could I love him so much and yet spank him out of anger and frustration with my life. I was mortified and embarrassed. I did not want to tell anyone, I wanted to keep this quiet.  I felt like such a failure. This whole episode brought back memories of what is was like growing up when my father would yell at us, spank and smack us occasionally and I remember living in fear of his temper and his anger.
 
When I got angry with my son that first time, I made a conscious decision to find a new way of parenting. I did not want my children walking on tender hooks because of my temper and my moods. I vowed to do whatever I could to do things differently. I became a student of possibly every parenting course available at the time. I read every parenting book I could get my hands on. I was hungry for knowledge about how I could do things differently. However, the biggest shift in my parenting came when I moved from trying to change my children to finding ways of changing myself. 
 
My journey into parenting has been a journey into my soul. It has been a beautiful, rewarding and full of lessons.  My blogs over the next while (I don’t know how long this will take) will share some of my challenges, insights, joys, fears and mistakes as a parent. The series coincides with my new Parent your Teens with Confidence online program. If you are parent of teens, you will want to check this out as it is chalked full of insights and tools to help you maneuver this challenging time with grace and confidence.
 
 As you join me on this journey, please let me know what you think by commenting on this blog with your own stories, insights and challenges of your parenting journey.
I look forward to hearing from you.
 
Take care and I will blog with you soon.
Gerrianne

 

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