Executive Women Having it All - What is the truth?

I would love your help. 

I am in the process of developing more “in the moment” tools for busy executive women to reduce their stress and feel better NOW. I also am working on a book to be written for the top executive woman who wants to “have it all” in her life. To that end, I would love your thoughts about the following!

 

 For the past 35 years, through my work as a nurse, workshop facilitator, life coach and stress management expert I have had the privilege of working with thousands of individuals (primarily women) in helping them find the answers to these questions honestly. It has been an amazing journey.

What I have come to realize is that women are incredibly hard on themselves. They want to be it all, do it all and have it all yet they have lost sight of what “ALL” is for THEM. They work hard to meet the expectations on them from society, their family, previous generations and themselves that they are out of touch with what is really important to them. I am on a mission, I want this to change.

 

The first step in creating this change is to put the white elephant on the table and develop some awareness of what is really going on for many executive women. Much has been written about this yet largely from an older paradigm of how to “be realistic with our expectations”, “take care of ourselves” and “be more assertive”. These are all great ideas but I think we are missing the point. Telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth about what it is really like for top executive women will go a long way at developing this awareness and thus support for all women. Many women find themselves alone at the top of their game with little support from those around them as to the challenges they face. Just like all women, the top executive woman has worries and doubts about her family, her relationships and her career. A top executive woman needs support and guidance on their life’s journey just like all women. The difference with her compared to others in less prominent positions is that it is difficult to share her thoughts with anyone. For some, the sharing of this information may jeopardize their career goals. This kind of sharing can sometimes be seen as a sign of weakness. The majority of women have worked incredibly hard to get to where they are at on their career path; showing a sign of weakness is just not an option.

 

The number of women executives is growing in our society. The impact on these women personally, professionally and in their relationships is staggering. Many of these women got started on their journey up the corporate ladder excited about what they were doing, living their dream and working hard. There have been some tremendous victories and some tremendous sacrifices. 

 

We all have stories about how our life and our careers have unfolded. The truth for many women often comes out when they go to bed at night and are alone with their thoughts. How did I measure up? Am I happy? How are the kids doing, I have been so tired and distracted lately I have not been there for them like I want to be? If I were to die tomorrow, how would I be with my accomplishments in life?

 

Many women do not ask these questions of themselves because the answers are too painful. Others are too busy for self reflection, and often fear taking the time – it might slow their momentum. To quell the pain, many women drown themselves in work, alcohol, drugs, overeating and the list goes on.  Others vow that tomorrow will be different, yet tomorrow comes and change does not happen. Then they feel like failures because they have tried so many times to change and nothing ever does.

 

What is your story? What are your greatest successes? What lessons have you learned along the way? What did you have to give up? Do you have regrets? If you were to do it over again, would you change anything?  Is there something you want to change now, if so, what is it and how can you be supported in being successful with that change? 

 

My hope is that this blog stimulates some dialogue. I am highly conscious of the fact that top executives and up and coming executives may be loathe to tell the truth in a public arena and rightly so. Part of the support that I offer my clients is an anonymous online community where women can talk openly about the reality of their life. Check it out at http://www.clareconsulting.com/moment-is.htm

 

Truth telling can be cathartic. When we name what is going on for us, tell ourselves the truth, we are that much closer to finding ways to change our current reality. Take care, talk to you soon

 

Gerrianne