Doing the Holiday Season Differently

Posted on December 3, 2009 12:00:00am, by Gerrianne Clare

 

Are you ready to let go of doing what you think you should do and really do what you want this Holiday season?  
 
For this blog I will use “Christmas” as it is what I know and what all of my expectations are around.
 
How many of you look forward to the holiday season with a sense of dread? There is so much to do, so many expectations, and so little time that the intention of the season seems to get lost in the mayhem. What I want to offer you here is a chance to do Christmas differently. If you are like many people (moms especially) the desire to have Christmas be an intimate, memorable and family bonding time is very strong. The season is full of anticipation and expectations as planning begins early and holiday wishes are expressed.

 

 

In my last blog “Are Shoulds Running Your Life?” I outlined a series of questions you could ask yourself to help you develop awareness as what is true for you. In this blog, I would like to go through these questions around a specific expectation I have for myself around Christmas. It is something that I grapple with every year. “I should have lots of Christmas baking in the freezer so there is a ready supply when the kids come home for Christmas and when friends stop in over the holidays”.
 
I am going to go through the questions that I posted last time and write out my journey as I come to discover what is really true for me.  For you, when you read this, ask yourself if there are traditions or expectations around this time of the year that you struggle with completing. The questions are posted in bold and my thoughts are in text below.
 
  • Make note of how many times you say "I should" throughout your day.  
 
When it comes to the idea of Christmas baking, I know that I have “shoulds” that sit below the surface of my consciousness. Now that I am writing about this, it is in my awareness. Some of my thoughts are that “I should do this to keep the tradition alive, to show my family I want to do this for them, to treat us etc.”
 
  • Notice how you feel when you say "I should"?
 
When I say “I should” do all of this Christmas baking I feel a little hypocritical. I know it is not good for you. There is so much sugar and fat which add a huge number of empty calories to an already overloaded system. Christmas already has a lot more eating than at other times of the year. I am so much better when this stuff is not in the house because I snack on it way too much. When it is there, I often find it hard to resist. I heard the other day that the average weight gain over Christmas can be up to 5 pounds. 
 
Since I eliminated gluten from my diet about 4 months ago I have not had the urge to eat many sweets so it could be an interesting exercise having it around. I certainly do not feel excited or energized by thinking I should be doing the Christmas baking. I feel a small sense of dread at “needing to do this”. It will be interesting to see what my kids say when they read this.
 
 
  • Why am I doing what I am doing (Christmas baking)?
 
Am I doing this because I want to?
 
This is an interesting question. Here are my thoughts. There is a part of me that is doing it because I do want to preserve the tradition of having great goodies in the freezer at Christmas. That is what is expected from me from my family.  I also see that I have really pared this down over the past couple of years. I have a few standby goodies that I make that are favorites. Yet, it feels like a bit of a chore and way too much food to have in the house. I have noticed that when the children leave to go home (2 out of the 3 live away from home), I have to make sure I send home the leftover baking with them because otherwise it sits in the freezer and just adds to our (my husband’s and my) waists.
 
What do I really want?
 
I want to have a healthier Christmas without all of the butter and sugar and excess food. I want to start a tradition of creating healthy, gourmet meals that we prepare as a family and focus on quality time with family and friends.
 
Am I doing this (Christmas baking) because I need to?
 
Certainly not, if anything, I need to not do it to keep my family and me healthy.
 
Am I doing this because someone else expects it of me?
 
Absolutely! To tell the truth, I think that I am going to get a lot of flack from my kids and husband about not wanting to do any Christmas baking. What I find is interesting is that the baking hardly gets consumed. There is so much other food to eat, that we rarely eat the sweets. We sometimes have an excellent meal and a nice dessert that there is no desire for any baking.
 
Do I even know why I am Christmas baking?
 
If the truth be told, I am doing it because of tradition and it is what is expected at this time of year. 
 
Now the question is – What do I really want?
 
I mentioned earlier that I would like to start a tradition of creating great gourmet meals that we prepare as a family and focus on the quality time during this process. My challenge will be to stay true to what I want and to communicate this in a way that also honors what my family wants. 
 
What I really want is quality family time and the experience of being and doing things together. If the family wants to have some baking in the house, I can do that with them when they come home for the holidays and have some fun time together.  I can let the expectation go that it is all up to me to meet their desires.   The rest of the family can also ask for what they want and work towards that goal. 
 
I am interested to hear your thoughts about this and how you navigate your way through Christmas expectations.
 
Take care and I will blog with you later.
 
Gerrianne
 

 

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