Do you Suffer from Guilty Mom Syndrome?
Posted on October 18, 2010 12:00:00am, by Gerrianne Clare
If you are like most working moms (inside or outside the home) you probably find yourself feeling overwhelmed, frustrated and guilty throughout your day.
Guilt is an epidemic in our society and working moms are especially prone to feeling like they never do enough, have enough or are enough for their kids.
Working moms want to be superhuman: DO IT ALL, BE IT ALL and HAVE IT ALL WHILE being loving and patient in the process. What an impossible task!!
These crazy, unrealistic expectations are sucking the life out of the heart and souls of moms everywhere.
It needs to stop.
Today’s society tends to focus on the negatives in life. The focus is on what has not been done, and everything that still needs to be done There is little room for celebration of what HAS BEEN DONE.
Take a few moments and listen to your inner voice. What does it say to you?
Is it kind and affirming of who you are and all you have done? If you are like most working moms, the answer is probably NO. 
Your inner voice can be so cruel; beating you up for your thoughts, your words and for never being enough.
At the end of a busy day, do you focus On what you still need to do and everything that is wrong with your life or on the things that are giving you joy and fun in your life?
The kids are fighting, they are not doing their homework, dinner is not ready, you don’t know what to make, there are no groceries in the house, you are late for driving to dance class and you have not spent any meaningful time with your kids in days. In addition, you have not spent any time working out or relaxing like you promised yourself you would do.
Are you wondering how to get off this crazy treadmill long enough to regroup and find a new way?
When you are tired, frustrated and overwhelmed, your mind can only see what is creating stress in your life.
What can you do?
Step 1 - Take a long, deep, intentional breath.
I want to give you a gift. There is no obligation, no expectation, nothing.
Just, listen, tune in and know you can START a new way of being.
Listen to the audio below to take a 3 minute TIMEOUT just for you.
Focus on what is working in your life.
Take care.
In love and friendship,
Gerrianne
Comments
Posted by deidre plotnick on October 20, 2010 at 10:19:53am
Well, if someone can help me figure out how to get 2 kids ready for school, carpool them to school, organize after school pick ups, doctor appointments, after school activities, shop for groceries and organize dinner all WITHOUT having to give up part of my work day (which then leads to me working late into the evening to get my work done), i'd be eternally grateful. I feel like I'm doing a lot, and not doing anything well. I buy clothes for the kids, make sure they don't miss out on anything. And I go without the gym, without shopping for myself, and without time for myself until i fall into bed exhausted. I guess it's a Mom thing. we put ourselves last on the list.
Posted by Deborah Ivanoff on October 20, 2010 at 9:34:44pm
Thank you Gerianne for tackling a topic that I think is often hard for us working moms to look at. When we feel "full up" already, it's hard to see how anything else could help. But I know that those who come and feel heard can feel the relief you offer others. I imagine this will resonate for many of us moms. Thank you for your good work.
Posted by Gerrianne on October 21, 2010 at 4:31:23pm
Hi Deidre,
Thank you so much for commenting. Life is crazy busy and finding ways to do it all you need to do without losing yourself is a large task.
I am amazed at how many things moms have on their lists. In my work with working moms (and being one myself) one of the biggest tools I use is to STOP and get focused on what I am doing in the moment. Doing has become such a big part of our lives that we have lost sight of how to BE in our lives. I know this shift took me a long time to really get. For me, shifting this took practice and I have developed a step by step way to do this because I know it is easier said than done.
Society's expectations play such a big role in our lives that we often forget to ask what we expect of ourselves and are these expectations fair and reasonable. The journey begins with taking one step. Stay tuned to this blog as I continue to share with you how I am doing on my journey. Telling the truth as you did and being aware of where the tension lies is the first step in creating a change in your reality.
Once again, thank you for commenting. Take care, Gerrianne
Posted by Gerrianne on October 21, 2010 at 4:41:26pm
Thank you for your kind words Deborah. One of the biggest lessons that I have learned over my parenting journey has been how hard it is to "do it alone". Many a night I would lay awake thinking of all of the things I wish I would have done or said differently because I felt guilty about my temper, lack of organization or preoccupation that kept me from fully connecting with my kids.
I want to create dialogue so working moms have a safe place to tell the truth about how hard things can be. With this dialogue and the words of wisdom from others, maybe they can see new ways of being that will support them in having their life be more how they dreamed it would be.
Once again, thank you for your comments and take care
Gerrianne