Are "SHOULDS" running your life?

Posted on December 1, 2009 12:00:00am, by Gerrianne Clare

How many of you live your life by "SHOULDS"?

By shoulds I mean those expectations that come from a wide variety of sources:

1.     Society
2.     Parents and other members of our family
3.     Friends with all of their best of intentions
4.     Media - TV, books, internet - all with advice from the so-called "experts" on how you should live your life
5.     Self - all of your expectations about how you should "think", "do" and "be"

 

To recognize whether the "shoulds" are running or ruining your life the first step is to develop awareness as to the impact these expectations have on you.

1) Make note of how many times you say "I should" throughout your day.  (This is is often unconscious for people)

2)  Notice how you feel when you say "I should" ?  Do you feel happy and excited to get it done, or does your energy feel low, resentful and depleted.  The way you feel about the "expectation" is an important clue for you.

3)  If you feel a little resentful or overwhelmed by some of the demands on your time, ask yourself the following questions:

Why am I doing what I am doing?

Am I doing this because I want to?

Am I doing this because I need to?

Am I doing this because someone else expects it of me?

Do I even know why I am doing what I am doing? 

Sometimes we do things out of habit, and really do not know why we are doing what we are doing.

4)  If you feel inclined, write down your observations and emotions about the "shoulds" in your life.  When you write things down, this anchors those thoughts on paper and helps you look at them from a broader perspective. 

Life is too short to live by others' rules and expectations.  Are YOU living the life you want? 

Take care and I will blog with you later.

Gerrianne